Don't end up like this fan from ACL 2009 - it would behoove you to follow my advice this year.

Austin City Limits is going on this weekend, and lucky me, I will be there with credentials in hand, ready to ask band members questions that may or may not have anything to do with music.  Yes, my interview questions usually have little or nothing to do with music.  I mean, these bands have been asked every question in the book, and personally, I am sick of the same old clichéd interview questions that reveal absolutely nothing about these individuals and their character.

For instance, one of my favs, ”What is your favorite Weapon of Mass Destruction?”  If they say something like “what kind of jerk are you?”  Unwavering liberal.  If they say “anything that kills ’dem terrorists,” they are a fear-mongering hard line conservative.  If the response is “My lyrics” or “The Pen” then they are outside the box thinkers who wage their wars in their notebooks.  If they say “MIM-104 Patriot Missile” then they were once enlisted in the military.  If they say “a Cannon” or “a Supersoaker water pistol,” then they get that the question is just a bunch of Tom Foolery and that particular individual has a good sense of humor. 

Enough about that stuff, I want to tell you who I am going to see at ACL.  Some bands are playing simultaneously so one has to be discerning when scheduling their ACL weekend, hence the title of this post, Torn ACL … get it?  Okay then, Karen Brooks previously presented some scenarios that will no doubt leave you torn at ACL, I wanted to do the same - the band “matchups” and my plans below.

• Vampire Weekend vs. Sonic Youth (Sonic Youth. Are you kidding?)
• Phish vs. The Strokes (The Strokes. I’ve seen Phish and I have a one 30 minute bass solo limit per lifetime).
• LCD Soundsystem vs. Ozomatli vs. Gogol Bordello (I’m going to go with Gogol Bordello here, almost went with LCD Soundsystem though).
• Muse vs. M.I.A.  (Muse, unless M.I.A. gets freaky or something, she is not hard to look at).
• Spoon vs. Slightly Stoopid (Are you Stoopid or something? Slightly Stoopid, duh!)
• Lucero vs. Gaslight Anthem (Not a huge alt/country guy myself, Gaslight Anthem it is).

Follow my ACL Experience at http://www.twitter.com/aclonkxan or http://www.kxan.com or http://www.twitter.com/earthtojosh 

Remember to stretch those leg muscles before you hurt yourself this weekend.